his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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