i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
