I heard we made out
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
