You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
