what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
