i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Why did my mother make you get naked?
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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