fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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