His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
