Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
