Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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