Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
