thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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