it wasn't lemon gatorade
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
