Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
