I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
