just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Just pee around me
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
