Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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