You work out of a Hotel?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
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