Just cropdusted the office
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
All I want is dick and wine.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
