it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
