She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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