Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
