I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
