I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
