So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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