M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
