just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
