I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
We don't watch enough power rangers
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
