i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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