That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
