At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Randomize
