I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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