It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
