the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
