I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
