I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
