So drunk, too bad you don't want this
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
