I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
it's great music for shaving your balls
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Randomize
