The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
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