Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
