Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
