I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
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