I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
