I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
