Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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