Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
