You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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