Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
