My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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