I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
