doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
So much rum. So many feels.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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