absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
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