I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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