I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
