there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
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