I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
third nipple confirmed
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
